How to talk like a real biker

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1_Percent_Patch.jpgBought a Harley, bought assless leather chaps, but still don’t feel like a real badass biker? Maybe this video will help, it explains the secret codes real bikers use to distinguish themselves from fake bikers.  >

via Death Spray Custom

  • robotribe

    So if I see a pretty girl with an ’8′ ball and 69 tattoo, I’ve hit the jackpot?

  • kosuohene

    If by “jackpot” you mean “diseased”, then yes.

  • http://www.vespabk.com Marco A

    Hells angels, putting “LOL” and “ROFL” to shame since the 70s, FTW.

  • http://www.tanshanomi.com Tanshanomi

    If I don’t talk this way, I’m not a “biker?” I’m just a guy who likes and rides motorcycles? Oh, tragedy…

  • Cameron Baum

    LOL!

    F.A.G.S.

  • http://www.advrider.com/forums/showthread.php?t=305107 Jeff Schnitzer

    This looks like some sort of police training video. If so… my god, is law enforcement really that dumb?

  • Skipper

    What a bunch of Harley FAGS……

  • jblaze

    Hahhahaha! Thats some good stuff!

  • Peter

    Business cards ??

  • Sloan

    Glad I’m a motorcyclist instead of a biker!

  • Sabathius

    Nice little reference that expands on the basics of the vid

    http://www.ctgia.org/mcgangs/mcglossory.html

  • powermatic

    And lets not forget the

    L.P.S.P.O.V.W.N.W.S.M.S.B.A.C.C.C.M.C.H.R.S.R.A

    ‘Loud Pipe Sporting Patches On Vest Wearing Non-Waving Slow Moving Single Bike Accident Causing Cause Can’t Make Corner Harley Riding Semi Retired Accountant’

  • Papasan

    L.P.S.P.O.V.W.N.W.S.M.S.B.A.C.C.C.M.C.H.R.S.R.A

    I think you missed a few letters…
    or maybe not…

  • Jack_Man

    1% means they ride a Harley and are real bad asses. The other 99% of the population have a brain so they do not need a loud outdated motorcycle with a asphalt ripping 70 horsepower to show off on.

  • stempere

    I like how some sexual acts have to be done “with witness present” to earn the symbol. I also cannot believe “P.P.D.S.P.E.M.F.O.B.B.T.” is an actual acronym that people wear (on clothes or skin).

  • http://www.theinternetsgirlfriend.com BIllyjack

    Aren’t all chaps assless?

  • Ken

    I can only assume this is shock tactic advertising from the pro-Breast Feeding lobby.

  • tirapelli

    i call those “bikers”

    FAGS

    they all become pussys at jail

  • carlos

    man… and I had thought I had gotten my fill of acronyms in the Military. Little did I know, I had no idea….

  • froryde

    T.S.G.S.

    That’s Sum Good Shit! Absolutely hilarious – even more so if it’s for real.

  • LADucSP

    um…if you bought assless leather chaps, you are something, but a “badass biker” isn’t it!

  • Chuluun

    That really sheds new light on the whole 8-Ball range of Victory motorcycles…

    • generic1776

      Um… 8-ball is a cocaine measurement, 3.5g… or twice the size of a teener… 1/16 oz. or 1.75g

      The Big Red and White Machine (Hell’s Angels) is most commonly associated with the number 81 (letters H and A) where 13, not 13% for Meth. Although, the number 13 is used in southern California for the Mexican Mafia, and by extension by many other mexican street gangs. Where in northern California the nuber 14 references “nortenos”.

      I’m aware of other tattoos that reference what they were saying about the 8-ball, but I’ve never heard/seen an 8-ball used in this way. (lucky me?)

  • Nikker

    Shit…I have been wearing a 8 Ball helmet for the past 4 years.

    • Cadillac Jack

      ROTFL!!!

  • baddad

    Worse than bikers are this snobish metrosexual motorcyclist in that stupid fashion clothes (Dainese etc) and with plastic bikes. Ugly!

    • Cameron Baum

      Yeah, it’s “fashion clothes” because road rash is so “unfashionable.”

      Maybe, those “metrosexuals” (as you say, as opposed to straight up FAGS like those who ride LOUD Harley Davidson Motorcycles) are wearing Dainese leathers, and other protective clothing is because it protects them from rash, weather, sun, and all the other elements?

      Maybe the FAGS might know this if they rode more than once every other weekend (but only on a nice warm summer sunny day) the 2 miles to the local parking lot hang-out to rev their engines at all the passing people going into the Pizza Hut™.

      And the bikes are covered in plastic because plastic doesn’t rust when you ride on salt-covered roads or in the rain. You’d know that if you actually RODE that Hawg of yours more than 400 miles a year. And with plastic you don’t need to spend all week polishing up the chrome just to keep your bike as shiny as the guy parked next to you while you are revving the engine showing off in the Pizza Hut™ parking lot on Sunday.

      • Marco

        You forgot to mention that plastic is lighter than metal (crude iron for HD), so it gives more room to work on an engine that is actually powerful, but not immense, so they can work on a nice maneuverability.

        But would HDers care if the bike can lean and make proper turns? It’s not meant to be ridden, just to show off they are badasses tuned to the technology prior to radio.

      • Michael

        Cameron, whenever I read your comments here on HFL, I sense so much hatred that I literally have to step back from the computer screen. I’m a sportbiker through and through, but I have no issues with the majority of HD riders, nor do I have an issue with the HD brand. Why?

        The stereotype you so viciously deride does not represent Harley Riders as a whole, and I’d even go out on a limb to say that it doesn’t even represent the majority. I know Harley riders that are average Joes, off AND on the bike. I know Harley riders that would never put up a kickstand without ample gear on. Trust me, my father and the guys he rides with are those people. I know a few Harley riders that have over 100,000 miles on their bikes and still wouldn’t hesitate to ride cross-state.

        Is it because of the branding? The accessories they sell? Here’s a hint: HD is a company in the business to make money, and they happen to employ some of the best, most effective marketers in the entire cruiser segment. Any of the Big 4 would kill to have that level of brand loyalty from its customers. Is it the 70 horses that bothers you? Somehow I doubt a rider that just likes to cruise the slab or ride backroads at a scenic pace would ever need more than that.

        But just for argument’s sake, let’s say all HD riders were as you and Bike_man above describe them. What gives you the right to hate someone merely for finding pleasure in different things than you? Diversity makes the world go round, man. Pop a beer, chill out, and be glad that motorcycle culture isn’t so uniform. And next time you ride, try waving to a Harley. You may be surprised.

        • cWj

          +1

        • smokin88lx

          “they happen to employ some of the best, most effective marketers in the entire cruiser segment.”

          No they don’t, they failed miserably on marketing the Buell brand. At one of the Buell Inside Pass days I talked to a guy from the marketing dept. and he said you could slap Harley Davidson on anything and it will sell. He also said they haven’t figured out what works for Buell and looks like they never did. HD has the Hell’s Angeles and the rest of the outlaw biker community to thank for selling their bikes. Because of them the bikes and accessories have been selling themselves.

        • Zach

          The level of hatred and vitriol toward this brand of motorcycle on this site is insane. Why do you guys need to rip on motorcyclists who choose this brand of MC? Why do you care if someone chooses to ride a motorcycle that has less hp then you require? Does it cost you money if someone else over pays for their motorcycle? As to loud pipes and riding gear, I often see people riding Japanese cruisers with the same loud pipes and lack of proper riding gear. Additionally, sportbike riders can and are just as annoying as Harley davidson riders. Their riding habits are just as obnoxious and likely to get mentioned at parties. Wheelies, treating the highway like its a closed track, and lane splitting (where it is illegal) pisses off alot of people and the motorcycles in question aren’t made in this country.

          I just don’t understand why you guys can’t relax and let people ride what they want.

  • Pro_Rider

    Yea, most to the moron Harley crowd here have a vest with a bunch of useless crap on it. The guys that ride around on there cruiser motorcycles with jeans, t-shirt and no helmet and loud pipes have a serious personality problem. They are just trying to get attention. Maybe they don’t get any at home so they ride around making useless noise on there useless bikes saying “Hey Look At Me – I Am Riding A Loud Badass Motorcycle”.

    • sniper

      Funny, most that dont live this lifestyle dont understand the respect that it accompanies.Most of us are family men and enjoy the company of a true brother, but we have a few that enjoy the wilder side of life, that they have earned the right to enjoy.
      The LFFL in my world, stand for Leatherneck forever forever leatherneck. We are Former, active/inactive and purple heart owners. We are the men that fought to give your ass the privledge to write the silly shit you write.
      Please take the time to understand that 1% are the group that chooses to keep a tight brotherhood without the general population in the buisness they live. I for one, dont want any person male, or female around me that has not earned the right to wear a 3 peice patch. Those kind only stand for themselves and are on the outside of the lifestyle I live, looking in making asumtions and aligations against men who own harleys that are more expensive then the cars and trucks most drive.
      Word to the wise. This is a free country, and for that we have the right to live that way for now. If you choose to poke your face into my world, you might leave with a sour tast in your mouth and a steak on your fucking eye!
      Semper Fi! SNIPER OUT!

      • http://www.mnf-iraq.com/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=12658&Itemid=128 Juba

        There are only two kinds of people that understand marines: marines and everyone else who sees through their machismo bullshit. Freedom of speech is good and well until someone speaks freely about self-appointed-badass degenerates like you. Unless you fought in WWII or earlier you haven’t done a thing to keep this country free. You should’ve stuck with your GIJoes and cap guns. It figures the same guys that like to ride loud, penis-compensating bikes are the same people who plant weapons on people they killed from the safety of a rooftop a hundred yards away.
        Sic Semper Tyrannis! FUCK OFF, CUNT!

  • http://www.so-sos.com Yukio {SO~SO's}

    This is going to get overlooked, but it’s really a good idea to not use the majority of these abbreviations and symbols, or anything that looks like it.

    Joke all you want, but there are still plenty of these guys around, and they are crazy.

    A friend of mine was threatened with a knife by an mongol (mongol colors and patches are banned) for a tattoo that (unintentionally) looked similar to an H.A. tattoo.

    They are gang signs.

    Sorry to be a killjoy.

  • Bike_Man

    A harley only has about 70 horsepower so the fags that ride them have to have loud pipes and dress up like pirates so the public will think they have a real motorcycle. I can’t believe those morons pay good money for a Harley. They are the most out of date piece of crap on the road. There new for 2010 Harley ads show new colors and more chrome. That is typical for Harley. Of course you can always spend your money on the Harley ash trays, jock straps, dog dishes, clocks, belt buckles and dog sweaters. Harley spends more R&D money on that crap than they do there bikes. You also have to buy a screaming beagle kit so you can get your horsepower up to a whopping asphalt ripping 75 or maybe 80 and that will cost you an extra $4,000. What a bunch of stupid suckers. Hey Look At Me On My Loud Motorcycle.

    • generic1776

      You have to distinguish, Hell’s Angels are not “typical” Harley owners….

      Yesterday, on my way home from work, I was doing ~80-95mph sharing lanes and passing cars, when a group of 4 Hell’s Angels FLEW by me going ~120mph, flying between cars at speeds far beyond reasonable.

      From my experience, that is how they ALWAYS ride in groups, crazy fast. They aren’t touring, they aren’t cruising.

      No 1% patches, all of them had the three patches though, the only rocker that I could read was “Washington”. So I guess they are down for a visit.

  • Bike_Man

    Michael the Harley riders make there own bed by riding with disregard for other people. They want to show off with there pirate costumes and loud exhaust. The public is just tired of seeing these guys riding from bar to bar making as much noise as possible. Maybe if they would act more responsible you would not get so much Harley bashing. People sucker for the “Harley Lifestyle” and the public has to put up with it. My city has enacted a new noise ordinance that takes effect in 7 weeks. It is backed by the SAE J2825 road side sound test. An officer can ticket these morons now with the same confidence as the readings from a radar gun or breathalyzer. These morons have brought this on themselves. There is absolutely no reason for a motorcycle to have no muffler or for a biker to sit at a stoplight reving his engine just to make a lot of noise. At least we will have some peace and quite now. I will wager that 75% of the Harley riders will sell there bikes. The only reason they own them is they think they sound “cool” without a muffler and they want to show off.

    • Cameron Baum

      Well put Mike_Man.

      I am sick of getting the fallout from these biker fags. Every time I meet someone or have a conversation with a person from work or at a party and I say I ride a motorcycle I get flack from them about what A-holes “bikers” are. I get painted by that stained brush because MANY civilized people can only think of the idiot pirates and the moron stuntah kids. I hate them both equally.

      I think it is sad that the authorities have to go to such measures to stop these butt pirates from running around like a bunch of pre-schoolers making noise on their butt-jewelry toys. If only they would put some teeth behind these noise laws. It would be funny if they would seize the bikes and crush them if they are running without exhausts or scrambling eagles race exhausts. The same goes for the stuntah kids on their sportbikes. Loud pipes ban bikes -I’d rather that loud pipes CRUSH bikes into tiny little cubes like that funny Buell Blast advertisement.

      • RT Rider

        +1

  • Zeitgeist

    Another great post to make for fun reading in the comments.:)

  • Skip

    “No they don’t, they failed miserably on marketing the Buell brand”. The problem was Buell had a Harley motor and they were sold in Harley dealerships. Who in the hell wants a sport bike with a out of date boat anchor Harley motor? Plus you had to put up with the Harley dealer crap to even look at one. Harley dealers did not want to sell Buell. They want to sell a Harley then they can sell all the “Life style” bullshit to go with it (HD belt buckles, ash trays, shirts, clocks). When the current crop of baby boomers are too old to ride Harley will be out of business. They are the only ones stupid enough to buy a Harley. The younger buyers will not buy that out of date overpriced crap. God they only have about 65 or 70 horsepower. You got to be kidding me if you think the younger bikers are even interested in a Harley except to make crap out of them.

  • Boggled

    This post, and it’s trollish attempt to bait this sort of thread is why this blog sucks.

  • Dan

    I happen to like loud pipes. I run a Yoshi race setup on my SV650 for several reasons. First, if I’m going to shell out several hundred dollars for the hardware and tuning, I don’t want power compromised for the sake of a few decibels. Secondly, I like drowning out the outside world with wind and throaty combustion. The motorcycle is my escape in an otherwise dull, midwest landscape. Thirdly, I like scaring the shit out of the SUV/minivan crowd. I am the reminder that the universe is chaos, despite their feeble attempts at isolation and “safety”. On the other hand, my KLR250 is all stock. That has it’s advantages, too. If I’m trespassing, riding somewhere listed as “bicycle only”, or sneaking up on a rare glimpse of semi-suburban wildlife, I don’t like advertising my presence. Let’s remember that we all ride on two wheels because it’s fun and different.

  • Skip

    Dan it is idiot assholes like you with your moron excuse for having loud exhaust that gives motorcyclists a bad image. You are a person with a personality defect that likes to have attention and show off. If you could not have your loud exhaust you would not ride your motorcycle. You are just as bad as the pirate dressed up Harley bunch. You have a very poor excuse for your stupid loud exhaust, almost as bad as the Loud Pipes Saves Lives bullshit. Keep riding and showing off Dan but you are not impressing anyone. People look at you and say and think – “what an asshole”.

  • http://www.fuckyouverymuch.gov ToeCutter

    Hells Angels and 1%rs Rule

    LOUD BIKES ARE MORE FUN

  • HD Rider

    If 4 Hell’s Angels flew by you going 120 mph they sure as hell were not riding Harley’s. A good running Harley has a very hard time just getting to 100 mph and then they are very unstable. It is very dangerous to ride a Harley at anything over 80 mph.

  • heed jones

    man tyt vid– long live tru bad ass biker g’s–

  • Cartman

    1% means they spend 99% of their time off the road either in jail, getting loaded, sucking on each other or anything but actually riding a motorcycle. Here’s a new acronym for a patch L.F.F.L (Losers Forever, Forever Losers)

  • Tom

    Right, sportbike riders are the models of on-road motorcycle safety.

    100+ mph wheelies on public highways are super safe.

    Groups of sportbike riders sitting at stop lights never sit there and stupidly rev their engines. Ever.

    Sportbike riders never replace their stock exhaust of performance exhaust that is inherently louder. Never.

    Sportbike riders never ride out to their local “twisties” and treat these residential roads like their own personal racetracks. Nope.

    Sportbike riders never congregate at gas stations and other parking lots to BS with each other. Not only do they never do this, but if they did, they would never be obnoxious or any form of a nuisance.

    Sportbike riders are the least likely to get in a high speed pursuit because they think they can outrun the cops.

    Sportbike riders are nothing but little angels on their bikes, following all traffic laws. Yup, they sure are…

    You guys really need to get over yourselves. All rider types have a$$holes and stand-up riders. All of them.

  • Brad

    This says it all about HD riders:
    http://www.xepisodes.com/fullscreen.php?vid=1312