Star strykes blow at miffed Honda

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Meet the Star Stryker, Yamaha’s attempt to steal lucrative faux chopper sales away from the Honda Fury. Like the Honda, the Styker attempts to hide things like decent emissions, some actual handling and functional brakes inside a package that looks like an unusable custom chopper, thereby enabling middle-aged dude bros to live out their facial hair fantasies without killing themselves at the first off ramp.

The Stryker’s specs are very similar to the Fury’s. The not-a-Yamaha uses a 1304cc fuel-injected, liquid-cooled v-twin that hides its radiator between the frame’s down tubes which is intended, along with the fake cooling fins, to hide the fact that you’re riding a wimpy liquid-cooled motorcycle. The inexplicably angry Honda’s fake-finned v-twin is 1312cc. Neither manufacturer lists a power figure, so we’ll go ahead and categorize both as “unimpressive.”

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Yamaha is keen to emphasize that the not-a-Yamaha doesn’t use “cheap” plastic fenders, but is instead equipped with real-man steel fenders.

While both bikes looked paired to the bone in an attempt to look bad to the bone, they’re still freakishly heavy at 646lbs for the not-a-Yamaha and 663lbs for the somewhat cross Honda.

The not-a-Yamaha has the quite peeved Honda beat in two important areas though: fuel capacity and rear tire width. The not-a-Yamaha holds 4.0 gallons of dino juice to the pretty ticked Honda’s 3.4 gallons, meaning the not-a-Yamaha will be able to travel further distances between bars, assuming the mustachioed operator remains sober enough not to crash that is. The not-a-Yamaha is also equipped with a 210-section rear tire to the displeased Honda’s tiny 200-section item. As we all know, that means not-a-Yamaha riders have 5 percent larger penises than ill-tempered Honda riders, which is how you explain the fact that the not-a-Yamaha’s steering will be slower; it just takes more effort to get those gigantic phalluses around a corner due to their massive bulk.

  • http://papasanphoto.com Papasan

    Ummmmm…

  • http://www.thisblueheaven.com Mark D

    Anybody looking for a good deal on a bike can pick one of these up in 2012 for about $3,500 and a case of Coors Light. Only 845 miles!

  • slowestGSXRever

    that’s so dumb, but I want it so bad.

  • TeeJay

    Someone ate hedgedog for breakfast… ☺☺☺

  • robotribe

    …”paired to the bone in an attempt to look bad to the bone”

    …”meaning the not-a-Yamaha will be able to travel further distances between bars”

    …”that means not-a-Yamaha riders have 5 percent larger penises than ill-tempered Honda riders…”

    Har-dee-HAR! The pirates are going to crucify for this one.

    • http://hellforleathermagazine.com Wes Siler

      You mean the pirates will be…furious?

  • Liquidogged

    Best. Review. Ever.

    Honorable Mention goes to Mark D’s comment.

  • pauljones

    Great new site layout, Wes. It looks a lot better and is a lot more functional. I’m not sure how much it cost, but it was money well spent.

    As for the Star Stryker, I get that it’s not your kind of bike. But you do seem awfully bitter about it. Any particular reason? For someone who has tried many times in the past to get other to set aside the stereotypes and accept that if you ride, you’re the real deal, you do tend to display a great deal of negativity once in a while.

    As far as power figures go, S&S found 57.1 Peak Hp and 75.9 Torque for the Fury on the dyno, so, yeah, not particularly impressive per se, but who really cares? It’s a different kind of bike designed with a different purpose in mind. If the Fury or this new Stryker are what some buyers like and feel suits them, who are we to give a damn? At least they’re riding.

    • http://hellforleathermagazine.com Wes Siler

      I was just trying to speak to potential Stryker customers in a language they’d understand. Also, what happened to your sense of humor?

      • pauljones

        My bad. I’ve been struck down by the flu. Apparently, the flu has a negative affect on humor, too. Hopefully in a few more days I’ll get over this and be able to do a better job of recognizing humor.

        • http://www.twitter.com/beastincarnate Beast Incarnate

          Sickness is no excuse for not applauding when the sign is flashing. You are a terrible audience member. And you’re a bastard.

  • Chuluun

    You know, this is a nice enough looking bike. Yamaha pretty much have everyone beat for styling. What I don’t get is why customs are so lardy nowadays and so weedy in the power department. What happened the Magnas and Vulcans (early 90s breed)? Is it just that the target market for these bikes is afraid of power, or did buyers keep wiping themselves out and giving them bad publicity?

    Before any cruiser riders jump down my throat, I understand the ethos and I could see myself on one, one day (although I’m 40 already, and that ‘one day’ still feels a long way off). But a 1300cc bike making 57hp is frankly insulting. I could even understand it if the bikes were seen as loss-leaders for the tuning/aftermarket business, but that would only make sense if they were cheap-ish.

    Anyway, staying on-topic, I’d take the Stryker over the Fury if I had to choose.

    • pauljones

      We don’t actually know yet what the Stryker’s output is; Star has a tendency to like to blow its competition in terms of power (see: Vmax, Roadliner, etc.), so it may have more grunt than we’re giving it credit for.

  • richard gozinya

    Yet another Harley wannabe. The big four should be giving out royalty checks to MoCo for these things.

    • http://bigassmessage.com/39b51 vic

      .i get the mistique about a Harley or a moto guzzi ambassador[they should reissue that] but yeah these jap cruisers are just sad.they look cheap compared to a harley and they are really overpriced
      over here there are a lot of these harley wanabee owners and they all say they have “choppers” when their bikes are usually bone stock.what fucks me up is their smugness like they are the real deal.and every time two or more of these fake-pirates meet they form clubs and they all want to host biker meets where nobody goes
      good things they wear novelty helmets

      • s0crates82

        guzzi ambassadors and el dorados are GORGEOUS!

        that is all.

  • HammSammich

    Perhaps it’s just my non-cruiser trained eyes, but this seems much less Chopper-like than the Honda. Looking at it to me, it looks like a typical metric cruiser, with slightly more raked out geometry.

    That aside, what does Not-a-Yamaha have against “cheap” plastic fenders (which are seldom that cheap – at least if you’ve ever tried to buy OEM replacements from Triumph). If you’re going to paint it anyways, Plastic can look just as good – and it weighs a lot less than the depleted uranium that is apparently used on this heavyweight.

  • seanslides

    I’m pretty sure my Ninja 250 had beefier forks.

  • keithh

    Hardly looks like a chopper. At least Honda had the balls to go as far as they did. Like the stock pipe styling though.

  • John

    “We added two more Harley features than Honda did and disguised our liquid cooling better”.

    Why again does any one buy these POSs?

    I’m good with HFL covering them, as long as they make fun of them! I’m waiting for Suzuki to counter this with the Annihilator, which will, of course, yield the Kawasaki Terminator.

    It would be nice if Honda could build a bike, any bike, that lived up to the name “Fury”.

  • John

    Also, the Stryker’s wheels look like they’d be awfully vulnerable to an IED. Did they get those from an Italika 125cc?

    • http://hellforleathermagazine.com Grant Ray

      Italika? That’s racist, John. You should be ashamed of yourself.

  • motoguru

    Wait? What? I don’t get it. Is it a Raider, only shittier?

  • Slim Pickens

    Hell yeah bro, sick chopper. Can’t wait to ride it and not wave at everyone not on a cruiser. I’m gonna be a beer-swillin’ pussy-poundin’ machine, bro.

  • s0crates82

    I dunno, looks ok to me. I wouldn’t call it a chopper, or even a factory-chopper. I don’t think it’s in the same class as the Fury.

    From here it’s a decent looking cruiser – like a sportster with 2* more rake.

    • http://hellforleathermagazine.com Wes Siler

      Star specifically states that its meant to be a factory chopper and only just stops short of calling it a direct rival to the Fury. Admittedly, bikes like this are kind of hard to tell apart (I have no clue).

      • pauljones

        Choppers were born out of Bobbers. A Bobber was a motorcycle that had everything that didn’t have to do with operator controls removed from the bike (i.e, windshields, saddlebags, etc.), had a cut-down rear fender just large enough to accommodate a passenger, and sometimes no front fender; they maintained the stock frame, though.

        A Chopper was an evolution of that idea. The difference was that the frames were often (but not always) “chopped” and shortened in length, while the neck was often (but not always) raised up in order to accommodate a much greater rake that made the bike more stable at (comparatively) high speeds, but more difficult to handle at low speeds.

        From a purely aesthetic standpoint, the Fury does a better job of mimicking the custom chopper look with its high neck, long rake, and small tank. The Stryker and the Raider are less extreme, but compared to the Roadstar or the Roadliner, they have a longer rake and a slightly higher neck. The easiest way to tell is to look at the fuel tanks on the Stryker and the Raider; note that they are actually canted upwards a little bit compared to a normal cruiser in order to accommodate the slightly longer neck.

        The same difficulty that you have telling them apart is the same difficulty I have distinguishing a 600cc bike from a liter bike. I’m sure the differences are there, I just don’t know what they all are or what to look for because I’m not all that familiar with sportbikes, having grown up around mostly cruisers.

  • Liquidogged

    The power is insulting if it’s that low… but the biggest insult is the weight. 646 pounds! Where the hell are they hiding it?! Is the frame made of lead? Is it held down by the weight of the crushed hopes and dreams of dudes who bought the new edition VMax hoping to get ladies with it?

  • chief47

    A Warrior for wimps.

  • DNF

    Wasn’t Stryker a hair band from the 80s ?

    • Penectomy

      I dont recall Stryker but Striper was a super cheesy christian hair band.

      You may be thinking of the gay porn star.

  • http://www.postpixel.com.au mugget

    Nice review & summaries!

    “… it just takes more effort to get those gigantic phalluses around a corner due to their massive bulk.”

    Hahahaha – I was laughing!

  • tzed

    Nice. Just the right tone of what the hell, I’ll review the POS.
    btw I think you meant ‘pared’ as in cut down, not ‘paired’ as in twinned.

  • Penectomy

    Why waste the money competing with a bike that no-one buys? The Fury has to be one of the biggest flops of all time and uber gay.

    As far as cruisers go this and the Fury are gay balls. They are expensive, ugly, and plastic. The decals on the red one are particularly offensive.

    It looks more Victory than HD but still a complete knockoff and completely lame.

    • http://www.twitter.com/beastincarnate Beast Incarnate

      I can’t imagine the Fury has sold less than Honda’s masterpiece: the DN-01. Granted, that’s like praising the least smelly crap my dog takes in a day.

      • http://www.thisblueheaven.com Mark D

        It may outsell the DN-01, but they made WAY more Fury’s! There are at least three at a local shop around here (which is mostly BMWs and Kawasakis to begin with); the tank makes me think of those plastic kidney-shaped chamber pots they have in hospitals.

  • Peter88

    If I may take an objective sales/marketing viewpoint. How many Furies were sold? I hear that sales are good and I hear that sales are bad. I’m guessing the margins on these things are excellent. That means more money for cool stuff in the future.

  • scientifico

    I think it looks like, how does my 4 year old nephew say “doodoo.” It needs to be slammed two inches, pipes look like they have that african swollen balls disease. It actually looks like it was designed by some 8th grade kid in 6 period earth science class.
    A bad move that’s gonna sour the company’s future plans for niche bikes

  • sanjuro

    Love the snarky writing!

    “inside a package that looks like an unusable custom chopper, thereby enabling middle-aged dude bros to live out their facial hair fantasies without killing themselves at the first off ramp.”