Triumph Thunderbird Storm: the Rocket III’s mini-me

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The 2.3-liter inline-three in the Triumph Rocket III too much for you to handle? Pansy. Having said that, Triumph’s just made a bike for little girls like you. The Triumph Thunderbird Storm looks like a Rocket III, but uses the ever-so-tiny 1,700cc version of the Thunderbird’s parallel-twin, good for a pathetic 115lb/ft of torque. If you can stand the emasculation, read on for full details of, you guessed it, another leaked bike.

Over the standard Triumph Thunderbird 1600, the Storm gains blacked-out looks, drag bars, and, most importantly, twin headlights just like those on the Rocket III. The larger bore, 1,699cc version of this parallel-twin is good for 98bhp at 5,200rpm and the aforementioned 115lb/ft at 2,950rpm. With a full tank, the Storm weighs a positively limp-wristed 339kg/747lbs.

We suppose one could argue that the Storm is a far more practical vehicle than the 807lbs, 163lb/ft Rocket III Roadster, that’d be equally capable of of pulling your face off with torque while simultaneously failing to break your ankles with its sheer weight at standstill, but that’d really be missing the point of these gigantic penis substitutes, wouldn’t it?

  • Glenngineer

    My dick and my balls think it looks like a cool enough cruiser, better than the regular Thunderbird.

  • pauljones

    I think it’s pretty damn cool, actually. At least I wouldn’t have to wear pirate gear while riding it.

    • Beast Incarnate

      You wouldn’t have to, but you know you want to. Arrrg!

      As cruisers go, I like the look.

  • ElDiablo

    Thats the Tbird for me. Major Like.

  • MikeD

    First sigth i think i like it, gonna need different angle pics to make sure.
    Black out treatment, Uber cool.

  • Mark D

    Wasn’t the T-bird Brando rode in “The Wild One” a 650cc? How times have changed!

  • ForgottenOne

    Actually the Rocket 3 is a fairly practical bike although it is a bit hungry with fuel and rear tires although it helps if you are a very large person and fit it well (like I do).

    Funny you should mention it as a penis substitute, every guy I talk to with a 1000cc sportbike will tell me how much horsepower his bike has and 1/4 mile times and top speed of their penis substitute just to make sure I know theirs is better.

    I just wish everyone would stop asking me if it was a V6.

  • dumptruckfoxtrot

    This bike looks alot like a Fat Bob.

    • Beast Incarnate

      The Fat Bob always looked like a Triumph, to me.

      • dumptruckfoxtrot

        Fair enough. I wouldn’t expect to confuse a Rocket III and a Fat Bob from a distance, googly eyed bastard face aside. I assume that the T-Bird is going to be around the same size as the Fat Bob so after you get past the engine, you’re looking at very similar bikes.

        • Beast Incarnate

          I agree with you, but then I don’t have a problem with it. The majority of entries in the cruiser market look very similar to some model of Harley. This is the most excusable of the lot, since I always felt the Fat Bob borrowed the dual headlight look from Triumph.

          While that’s almost certainly not the case, it’s just how it seemed. For my money, I’d rather have the Triumph.