I’ve got a confession to make: I like to have sex with beautiful women. In pursuit of that goal, I’ve learned that showering at least once a week and dressing well can give me a huge advantage. The hair obviously helps too. The problem is that I also crash motorcycles, pretty regularly, and traditional motorcycle gear is almost universally styled in a manner that would hugely impair my ability to do the one thing I enjoy doing more than riding bikes. Enter the Dethkillers asphalt-resistant jeans. They don’t use those tacky Kevlar inner panels, instead the denim weave itself is 16 percent Kevlar. More importantly, they’re the nicest pair of skinny jeans I’ve ever owned.
Photos: Grant Ray
For those of you heading directly into the comments section to write things like “hipster!” “how about you review some lumpy, baggy, cheap Firstgear mesh jackets?” or anything else similarly narrow-minded, I give you this video.
I rest my case.
Remember the Dethkillers fashion show we covered back in September? The one with models hitting a punching bag and being dragged out across a concrete floor by a mini dirt bike if they didn’t punch hard enough. There was a also a frogman penis. Well, that show launched these jeans.
Here’s the thing with any product like this — they’re not going to give you anything like the protection offered by a real pair of leather motorcycle pants with hidden stitching, double panels and chunky armor in the hips and knees. If I’m going to do something dangerous on a motorcycle, I’ll wear my Alpinestars 365 Gore-Tex Pro Shell pants or a one-piece leather suit or similar. If I’m going to ride to a bar or a party or a restaurant, I’m going to wear these Dethkillers jeans or my Ironhearts.
Like the Iron Hearts, these Dethkillers jeans should give me something more than a normal pair of thin, crappy Levis. Unlike those Ironhearts, these are thin and flexible and cut skinny instead of straight leg.
Anyone else that wears skinnies will be familar with the traditional problems — being too tight, stretching out or putting too much material in the ass so it looks like you shat yourself when you sag them. None of those problems applies to these, they’re just perfect. Every waist size comes in a 36-inch inseam, so they’re more long enough, the ass is cut slim so they look best when they’re below your hips and after about a month of solid wear, they haven’t stretched out or become misshapen. I think they get better looking every day I wear them.
They’re also really high quality. All the belt loops, the pocket liners and the hardware feels like it’ll last through years of constant abuse.
When you first get them, the Kevlar in the weave makes them a bit stiffer than normal jeans. I slept in mine for two or three nights, which broke them in nicely. I was also careful to smooth the extra length in the legs down to my ankles and away from the back of my knees so now they don’t bunch back there, which could make them uncomfortable while your legs are tucked up on a sportsbike.
With the strength of Kevlar across the entire construction, really nice looks, great fit and a credible brand, these are my new favorite jeans. Tattoo models agree.