Grasping the Busa’s big butt

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Motorcycles are like women in that it is very hard to become interested in one you don’t
want to fuck or fall in love with. That leads to the obvious question: who would want to do either to a Hayabusa? I think I know the answer. Let’s see that tootsie roll.

Photos: Magda Wosinska

The 1340cc Law Master with the cage fighter tattoos distinguishes itself from a standard sportbike not only in appearance but also in that is has twice the engine most of us require from something that fits between our legs.

The cultural baggage which saddles the Hayubusa has led me to question whether,
intentional or not, its success in reaching a certain ethnic minority in America was
through the appeal of its unique aesthetic. This bike is bought by black guys, which, bear
with me, leads me to presume that this bike it bought by the men that love big arses.

Before branding my thinking brash or racist lets clarify that a brief look at the shelf
targeting an African American male readership at any local magazine stand will
confirm that a large manure spreader is an absolute must to garner sales. No secret and
nothing to be ashamed off. Videos and album covers cement the concept that a giant
pooper trumps tremendous titties any day of the week. Starting to see a connection? Has this bike been conceived for the booty connoisseur or has its posterior inadvertently drawn the
attentions of the ass worshipper?

The Hayabusa’s designer, Koji Yoshiura approach to the design was to build a powerful bike
that looked like it had muscle tone. Koji-san has been quoted as saying “I created a somewhat grotesque design in the hopes of creating a strong initial impact.” Mr. Yoshiura, I think we can safely say that you have achieved your goal. But what does this do for my theory?

Having never ridden a Hayabusa, I started the bike and was surprised at how little sound
the stock exhaust produced. Pulling onto the freeway felt more like piloting a 7-series BMW than a 195.6 horsepower widow maker until my wrist decided that it was Hadron Collider time.

There is one word that best describes the results. Fuck. After a brief and unscheduled
power wheelie I nicknamed the throttle “You want the truth? You cant handle the truth.”

Unlike a puny literbike, the Hayabusa’s engine power seems to stem directly from a
connection to a volcanic fault line somewhere beneath the tires. Broad, wide, ancient. I
will admit that there was a part of me that just wanted to twist until my head exploded but
the 405 North is not the best place to see how quickly I would reach the limited 186mph, although I came pretty close in complete comfort.

Ex-GP racer, ex-TT racer and current dog lover Jamie Robinson had nothing but good things to say about what he calls “the fat girl.” Turns out I was currently riding sloppy seconds on the same press bike he’d just had. A blast up mountain roads just outside LA with his buddy on a GSX-R left no doubt about whether or not the bike’s cholesterol level was a factor in road performance. Jamie sung the praise of its power, its brakes and said the bike’s weight would only be a problem for the rider without the plums to “chuck her about a bit” in the turns.

But for me, the performance of the bike was quickly becoming overshadowed by the styling. All my life I have seen any connection to an instrument of speed as a love affair, but now, for the first time, I was becoming just friends with a motorcycle. This silent monster took me everywhere I wanted to go in comfort, without complaint and when I gave it a little twist it would soften my stools, but I just couldn’t fall in love with riding something this ugly.

So, I decided to create my own logic out of the assthetic and enlisted the help of a local
Argentinean nicknamed “The Onion” because her booty apparently makes men weep. Once the plastic camel’s hump was replaced for a rear seat and The Onion was gently lowered into place the planets aligned and lust once again entered the equation. The quintessential aftermarket part for this bike is not an extended swing arm or chrome iron cross mirrors. This bike requires a rear passenger with large, shapely buttocks for it to achieve symmetrical harmony. I think Koji-san was an ass man after all.

  • Stuart

    How’s “The Onion”‘s face? There’s no appeal about a nice round butt that has an butt-ugly face. Just saying…

  • BATMAN

    Wow. I think I need to go clean up…

  • Stacey

    Heh…
    Man, I’m speechless.
    The Onion is fantastic. Although I know plenty of white ass men.
    And I’d consider the bike too…

    Wow.

    • Kevin

      You can be an ass man and not like big ass. That said, I think the Busa’s just fine.

  • Kirill

    In my experience, the ‘Busa is also popular with fat white dudes that wear hoodies.

    • Patrick

      Too funny. Near me rides a man we call the Busa Buddha. A fat white guy who only rides in a hoody!!

      • Ben

        Are you talking about Vancouver? The Busa Buddha is a legendary here! He lives near china creek.

        • Patrick

          Ya. He rides up and down Commercial drive every clear day in the summer.

  • jason

    You forgot to mention that a chrome nazi style helmet is a must when riding thru the hood on one of these. All of the brothers here wear nazi helmets for some stupid reason.

    • mb

      damn hipsters…..always trying to be ironic.

      • a hipster

        sorry about that…

      • robotribe

        Those kids with chrome Nazi helmets on BUSAS aren’t “hipsters(TM)”. Those are flat-bill baggy jean TAP OUT t-shirt ROCKSTAR drinking MALL RATS.

        • mb

          ….i know. it was a joke.

          • robotribe

            My bad. My sense of humor was dulled by all the IRONY flying around today.

        • Chris

          I think I’d classify them under the “Bro” moniker personally

  • Steve

    First Bubba, now the ‘Busa. What’s going on around here?

  • Alicia M

    LOL… “Motorcycles are like women in that it is very hard to become interested in one you don’t
    want to fuck or fall in love with. “

    • Anthony Wayne

      It’s true.

  • Ben

    WTF just happened?

    • DoctorNine

      You just took a rocket ship to The Moon.

  • http://www.thisblueheaven.com Mark D

    It’s no secret that Ass has always been Tit’s greatest enemy.

    • robotribe

      ^THIS

    • http://www.urbanrider.co.uk UrbanRider

      Comment of 2011 so far. But Tit will never be surpassed in my life.

  • Glenngineer

    ‘soften my stools’

    Article of the year right here, this is awesome.

    • Dylan

      Agreed. Probably my favorite article Ive read on here. Definitely the best article I’ve ever read on the Busa

  • http://www.cheapcycleparts.com vigor

    I bet this story is getting twice as many clicks. Also, who is Skiny Power?

    • http://hellforleathermagazine.com Wes Siler

      An old friend of mine. He writes scripts for movies.

  • gregorbean

    large manure spreader + assthetic FTW

  • slowtire

    Motorcycles and crack don’t mix.

  • Miticale

    I think it’d be a cool feature if you could get a chance to review the “big bikes” of their days (I know older exists, but then again I’m a youngin so I’m referring to my generation) of maybe Honda 1100XX blackbird vs. ZX-12R (or the modern 14) and the ‘Busa.

    • Sebastian

      Agreed – I owned a k4 ZX-12R and having ridden both, thought of the 12 as a busa without the fat. 98% as fast in straights, much nimbler in the bends.

      less garish than the whalepenis that is the hayabusa.

  • Peter88

    My son calls the ‘Busa the old man’s sportbike. I prefer gentlemen’s sportbike. Either way, great article and great ass.

  • http://www.brammofan.com Brammofan

    So much win, here.
    Although I expected my inner soundtrack to be playing Sir Mix-A-Lot’s “I like big butts,” while reading this, instead, I found myself humming Lou Reed’s “I wanna be black” quietly to myself. Lyrics, for those unfamiliar with this masterpiece, here.

  • Beale

    HFL poster series?

    • http://www.urbanrider.co.uk UrbanRider

      +1

  • Archer

    VFR is the gentlemen’s sportbike. Busa is the thug’s sportbike. Get ir right!

  • JonB

    Gross make it stop.

    • Devin

      Sorry son. That’s an ass that just won’t quit.

  • Gregory

    I’ve always considered the Hayabusa, or Kawasaki’s 1400, or even some of the similarly higher-end Hondas, like the Blackbird… I’ve always considered them to be more like a traditional European Grand Touring (“GT”) car: a gentleman’s speed machine. Think of some of the classic Ferraris or Lamborghinis or even Lancias or Maseratis. They were for wealthy men who wanted style, elegance and heavy, powerful speed. The Hayabusa is the GT of the motorcycle world.

    If it had a bit more carrying capacity, it would be the Sporting Break (two-door station wagon) of the motorcycle world.

    -gceaves
    Portland, OR
    2008 KLR 650 w. milkcrate

    • http://hellforleathermagazine.com Wes Siler

      The problem is, they have GT function, but not GT style. The moment a ‘Busa looks as classy as an Aston, I’ll start taking it seriously (and probably buy one).

      • hdtogt

        Try a K1300S, same concept, more style.

    • X

      heavy? yes
      fast? yes
      stylish? no
      elegant? fuck no

      the hayabusa is the brightly colored american muscle car remake of the motorcycle world.

      • Myles

        It’s elegant in every way that doesn’t fit under stylish. The way it makes power, the way it rides, the way it eats up miles, etc.

        • Kevin

          Tim from Pashnit.com is a Busa lover. Tours for ages on it.

  • Nate

    I can appreciate this. Frankly, it’s no fun in the long run to look down your noses at this bike or that (or other things in life). If you can get your head straight, there’s something appreciate about almost all of them.

    Appreciate, but not lust after, and I suppose that was the larger, worthy, point.

    I don’t want one, but I can enjoy somebody talking about how they tried to like one.

  • Tim

    As an owner of a Honda Blackbird, the invitation for a similar ride is always extended to The Onion. Wow . Like. Even makes the Busa look ok, too.

  • http://www.lgdm.fr stempere

    I wouldn’t mind seeing her in a catsuit. Damn.

  • Rick

    Great writing,
    hate to ruin the party, buttt…
    come back in 20, and find out why onions make you cry, and the Busa will still be a Busa

  • Roman

    Ugh, opened HFL right as a co-worker was coming in.

    Me- Umm, it’s a motorcycle site, seriously
    Co-worker- Hey man, I don’t judge

    Damn it HFL, trying to get my ass fired!

    • http://hellforleathermagazine.com Wes Siler

      Hey, we called ourselves Hell For Leather, you should know better than to read in a polite environment.

  • Ray

    Guess someone didn’t have the plums to sign their name to this either. Coulda waited ’til tomorrow to post it…

    • http://hellforleathermagazine.com Wes Siler

      Eh?

      • Miles Prower

        I think Ray is referring to April Fool’s Day.

  • Mark

    For some reason, an old magazine quote from the mid 90′s referring to the Katana tail light looking for all the world like a woman’s cl*t suddenly popped into my head when I saw this photo.

    For the record, I WOULD lick the sweat from her butt cheeks.

    We need a high resolution print of those photos for a screen saver.

    Mark L.

    • dux

      Why does this article have fewer comments than the one about kevlar jeans? C’mon guys!
      Here’s how to get a reaction: say “hipster”

      Ok, here goes: that picture demonstrates my favorite type of “hipster” – in a good way.

    • http://pinkyracer.com pinkyracer

      seriously. No bike ever has an uglier ass than the Katana (I forget what era). It doesn’t look like a clit, it looks like a giant hemorrhoid.

  • Terry

    I’m in love.

    The bike is OK too.

    (This white boy is definitely an ass man.)

  • http://www.postpixel.com.au mugget

    ROFL large manure spreader…

    All in an article about the Hayabusa.

  • http://pics.zenerves.net/index.php?gallery=vehicules tropical ice cube

    Wes, I’m sure you didn’t realize so much of your audience is actually black men in hoodies and chrome-plated nazi helmets… Must be, no? Or else why so many clicks…

    My favorite here would be ‘I nicknamed the throttle “You want the truth? You cant handle the truth”‘

    • http://www.brammofan.com Brammofan

      I’m actually curious about the demographics of the HFL subscribers. Black, white, ages, gender, etc. That kind of stuff is fascinating to me.
      And tushies. They are fascinating to me, too.

      • http://hellforleathermagazine.com Wes Siler

        We don’t collect data on race, but a gross generalization of our demos is 16-40, lives in cities, over 30% female.

        • http://www.thisblueheaven.com Mark D

          30%? Congrats, you have ten times the percentage of any other motorcyclist journalists. Must be Grant’s dashing looks.

  • Brad

    I like big butts, and I cannot lie.

    • Kevin

      Can’t deny. You other brothers?

      • http://pinkyracer.com pinkyracer

        can’t deny. ;-P

        I must say, I was mildly disappointed when the ‘Busa rider who started parking next to me at my garage turned out to be white. Only mildly because he was pretty fly. for a white guy. It’s not racist to observe certain demographic facts. I bet Suzuki could even back (that ass) up if they were actually collecting such information.

        But jokes aside, maybe it’s less about a bike with bootie and more about power. I think the ‘Busa is more akin to a Pit Bull or some big powerful muscle car. If you can master it, you truly are The Man. That said, ‘Busa boy has trouble staying with me in Malibu. Perhaps I need to tell him to throw her around a little harder.

  • Courtney

    In Jamaica, that is what you call a “Batty Rider.”

  • Glenngineer

    I like that this article is back up at the top. Taking the high road:D

  • Coreyvwc

    It’s just so damn ugly…
    Can we just be honest though and agree that it’s a sport tourer (a grossly overpowered sport tourer). To call it a sport bike is a slap in face to every other sport bike.

  • Kirk

    Nice article needs more pics.