Don’t Ride Like a Bitch

How To -

By

twoup

When Wes isn’t cuddling Sean on a motorcycle, it’s my job. I recently putted a Honda Shadow around a parking lot at the veterans’ center long enough for the nice folks at the MSF to declare me fit to pilot a motorbike, but that hasn’t stopped me from riding as a passenger as often as I can. That’s me up top, on the back of Sean’s GSX-R600. I’ve put in thousands upon thousands of miles sitting on the back of a bike. Taking one motorcycle means we spend less on gas, I get the exhilarating enjoyment of riding a bike with a safely speedy rider who’s far more skilled and experienced than myself and, because of that, there’s the added educational benefit of learning about riding, experiencing different lean angles, entry speeds, lane positions and observing the decision making and judgement skills that go into riding skillfully in traffic. It also means I know a thing or two about riding pillion, so the guys asked me to share that skill with the rest of you.

Apart from all that practical stuff, it’s simply a truth of the world that chicks dig guys who ride motorcycles and guys want chicks on their bikes. Knowing the ins and outs of riding with a passenger or how to be a good pillion (leave it to the Brits to have a refined equivalent for the term “riding bitch”) will keep you both safe and happy, thus making it more likely for you to get naked together later.

I want a ride on your motorcycle
Ladies, I understand why you’re excited about going on a motorcycle ride. Motorcycles are awesome and riding them with cute boys is even more awesome. But slow down for a second. Whoever you get on a bike with literally has your life in their hands.

I know a lot of motorcyclists. I know a fair number who are competent and admirably skilled. Yet, I can count the list of riders I’d consider riding with on one hand. Why am I so picky? Acquiring the skills to get a motorcycle moving isn’t all that hard. Having the confidence and ingrained skill to know exactly what input to give and to what degree in the split second one has to avoid a crash only comes with experience. When you’re wrestling a bike that has the added weight of a passenger, that’s compounded even more.

You’re most likely a passenger because you don’t ride. If that’s the case, how are you supposed to know if you trust someone when you might not know the first thing about motorcycling or the rider’s experience? If you don’t know the rider well enough to be able to answer these two questions, then ask them before you get on the bike:

How long have you been riding and how often do you ride?
Keep in mind that years aren’t really as important here as frequency and miles. A rider who has ridden 30,000 miles over three years is more than likely sharper in their skillset than a 20-year veteran who only rides a couple hundred miles a year. If a rider is a commuter, that’s a good sign. They’re used to riding daily, dealing with traffic and navigating themselves out of a number of close calls per week.

Do you have experience riding with a passenger?
I’ve been shocked before to find out that some of the most competent riders I know have a) never ridden with a passenger on their bike and b) never been a passenger on another rider’s bike. If a rider has no first-hand experience of how a bike behaves differently with two bodies on it, you probably don’t want to be the test dummy.

If you’re a rider and a potential passenger doesn’t bring up either of these questions, have the conversation with them anyway. They’ll be more confident in your skills and less likely to be nervous on the bike, and hopefully they’ll learn about the questions they should ask the next time they consider being a passenger.

If you’re a rider and you can’t give answers to these questions that inspire confidence, you’re probably not ready for a passenger. Do you have a freshly minted motorcycle license? Yes? Great! But please leave the solo seat cowl securely attached to your bike, put the passenger seat in a closet somewhere and don’t even consider letting a girl near it for a long, long while. I just got my motorcycle license, too. (Yay for us!) When you’re a lady like me, it’s easier and more socially acceptable to be a newb about motorcycles. I simply know there’s no way in hell I should even consider taking another person’s life in my hands when I’m fairly certain, given my newly acquired skills, my own is on thin ice. Gentlemen, you know this is true for you too, but testosterone makes you think you have motorcycle skills in your DNA. You don’t. So if you’re new or don’t have that much experience, just be honest about it.

What do I wear?
For a long time motorcycle gear was the bane of my existence. I wanted to go on bikes, but I also wanted to look good, and that’s hard in borrowed gear. Wearing booty shorts (or the cute dress you wore to the bar) is just not allowed on motorbikes. I know you likely want to look fashionable and hot while you’re riding around with the sexy guy who is taking you for a ride on his motorcycle, but I guarantee you want your skin more. An armored leather or textile jacket, pants no lighter than actual denim jeans (not jeggings), boots that cover the ankle, leather gloves and a helmet are the minimum you should be wearing in terms of gear. And it doesn’t count unless it’s worn properly: zip up the jacket, lace up the boots and the chin strap on your helmet needs to be tight. I don’t like to be cold, so I also layer a lot when I’m riding. Wearing tights or leggings under jeans can make a longer ride a lot more comfortable. Wearing the right gear also makes the ride so much more enjoyable — having fun going fast without the fear of losing skin is not over-rated in the slightest. Skilled and safe motorcyclists take gear seriously. If a rider isn’t concerned with what you’re wearing, or what they’re wearing for that matter, don’t get on a bike with them.

Riders should hold fast to the fact that motorcycle gear for your passenger is every bit as important as your own. Yes, your old jacket is better than nothing, but it likely swallows that cute little lady whole, and makes it a whole lot more likely for her to get road rash up her back if the bike does go down. If you’re serious about sharing motorcycling with others, invest in some gear they can use or advise them on what they should pick up.

Continue Reading: Don’t Ride Like a Bitch >>

  • HammSammich

    Is that A-Stars new Bio-Tulle hip protection system? ;)

  • Kevin

    Brilliant!! Thanks so much for this story. Forwarding it to the wife now.

    • Brad

      Me, too! Well done!

      • Gene

        Yup, this is getting printed out and posted up in the garage.

        So far I’ve only encountered poseurs that go “whut? muss my HAIR? no way!” when I mention “no helmet = no ride”

  • Josh

    Great article. I particularly appreciate the mention of considering whose hands you’re puting your life into by climbing on the back of that motorcycle. The amount of people this _doesn’t_ occur to is shocking to me.

  • zipp4

    Cool article. Nice to hear from the girls we try so hard to impress for once.

  • JK

    Well written article.From my own experience I’d like to add the following when dealing with passengers for the first time.Point out that the exhaust will be hot to the touch it may be blatantly obvious to us riders but not to a newbie pillion.Show them theres a moving chain below them so better keep feet on pegs as said earlier.Explain that the sense of speed is different on a motorcycle and that it will appear we are going faster than we actually are.Explain leaning. Here is where a newbie can get really scared of the ground getting nearer and lean the opposite way to compensate upsetting the balance of the bike.Just tell them when you are going left look over your left shoulder and when going right look over your right shoulder.Thats all they have to do to put their body in the correct position for turns.

    • Miles Prower [690 Duke, MTS 1100]

       
      “Just tell them when you are going left look over your left shoulder and when going right look over your right shoulder.Thats all they have to do to put their body in the correct position for turns.”

      +1.

    • http://www.ninja250blog.com R.Sallee (Ninja 250)

      Just wanted to also say that this is quite well written. Nicely done.

  • http://www.advrider.com/forums/showthread.php?t=305107 stickfigure

    Awesome, keep writing – you could do a series on picking a first bike, your experiences learning to ride, etc. As much as HfL complains about new riders overextending themselves, it’s mostly a big testosterone-fest that doesn’t exactly encourage moderation.

    As someone who does a lot of adventure touring 2up, I’ll add my $0.02:

    * Be careful of getting on a bike with someone that just commutes. I’ve noticed that the skills for “urban combat” and “carving twisties” don’t necessarily cross over; I’ve seen 15-year commute vetrans ride like MSF newbies once the fun begins. Streetfighting doesn’t teach the rider how to look through turns and what to do when you hit a patch of dirt or gravel on the road, but it does breed overconfidence.

    * Squeezing that last little bit of performance out of a sportbike by hanging off the side 2up just seems silly. Tthere’s no way the suspension is going to be properly set up for the weight and the lever arm of a 130lb (plus or minus) geared-up passenger makes emergency handling a difficult proposition. I just tell my pillion to “do what I do” – standing up on the pegs for big bumps, counterleaning if the road surface is questionable, or most of the time just sitting straight. And I ride at 80% or less – I can have plenty of fun when someone else’s life isn’t in my hands (and the bike doesn’t handle like it’s pregnant).

    * Why do you say always get on the left side? My pillion usually does just because that’s where she plugs in, but not always (depends what’s in the way) and it has never really mattered to me as a rider.

    • Sean Smith

      I stretched the wheelbase on my GSX-R (how original, right?) 1.5″ or so (longer chain is all that’s needed) and dialed everything in for 2-up canyon blasting. We ride together everyday so our situation is a bit different from most people.

      If the rider leaves the stand down, then getting on and off from the left side means you get that much more protection from a tip-over. It’s saved our asses more than a few times on tall and heavy bikes.

      • http://www.advrider.com/forums/showthread.php?t=305107 stickfigure

        Ok, that’s cool. Setting up a sportbike for 2up travel is novel, if a bit eccentric.

        Sidestand thing makes sense – apparently I’m tall enough that this just hasn’t been an issue, even on the big katoom. Probably worth mentioning this trick (leaving the stand down) in the article!

        • Sean Smith

          Ha, I didn’t write it and didn’t think to mention the stand trick until now. The two-seated missile is definitely eccentric. To date, I’ve never run across another person with a similarly setup bike. Well, except for maybe Randy Mamola, but you never see those Ducati GP bikes running round on the street.

          • Wereweazle

            Yeah I’ve always stood the bike upright before having someone mount. The “always mount from the left” bit confused me because I didn’t factor in the sidestand. I just always tell them to get on from the opposite side of the exhaust.

            • HammSammich

              ” I just always tell them to get on from the opposite side of the exhaust.”

              I’m gonna try that the next time I give someone a ride on my Bonnie, just to see what they do…

              • Wereweazle

                Like telling someone to stand in the corner of a circular room? They may try to hop on from the rear.

          • Randall

            I always leave the side stand down for by passenger. Then again, good luck getting a footing on the passenger pegs on a 675.

  • http://vtbmwmov.org Eben

    I just need to point out that “pillion” means “woman’s saddle”, not passenger. I’m not sure being called a woman’s seat is any better than being called a bitch, but what do I know?

    Otherwise, great article.

    • http://hellforleathermagazine.com Wes Siler

      It’s common usage refers to either the seat or the passenger. I grew up in England, occasionally we use Britishisms.

    • HammSammich

      The Online Etymology Dictionary: “pillion
      c.1500, of Celtic origin (cf. Ir. pillin, Gael. pillin), ultimately from L. pellis “skin, pelt”

      A pillion pad is generally a secondary pad behind the saddle where the passenger on a horse rides, and seems likely to have been adapted to the motorcycling lexicon from the equestrian past.

  • Gregory

    Sean has a mullet?

    Good advice.

    Concerning gear, I’ve had high-heels melt onto my cruiser’s pipes. She was not happy. I recommend proper boots.

    Also, I’ve had FREEZING passengers furious at me after a few miles. Now, I always recommend extra sweaters.

    I’ve found my lower-rear pocket is good for her makeup, mirror, snacks, et cetera.

    David Hough has some good paragraphs about passengers. Mount-up procedure is particularly important: don’t want wait on one peg when I’m not ready for it.

    -g

    • HammSammich

      “She was not happy!?” I’d have been pissed about my damaged exhaust cans!

    • Sean Smith

      I’ve had one for 2 years now.

  • Randall

    That was thoroughly awesome. My biggest problem being a rider is that I’m trying to get my girlfriend to get her motorcycle license and to get off my bike. Please write me an article on that subject!

  • Miles Prower [690 Duke, MTS 1100]

    Two additional points worth mentioning to your passenger:

    1. When you are traveling slowly, it’s doubly imperative that you don’t make any sudden moves. Even moving your arm out to point at something on the side of the road can upset the balance of the motorcycle. This happened to me once when my wife decided to call my attention to a wayward dog to our left — as we were slowing down for a red light. Luckily, the light was red for both directions — because I had to quickly vector my motorcycle to the left to prevent us from going down.

    2. Be prepared to squeeze your legs together against the driver’s butt/hips to prevent yourself from “falling” into the back of the driver during sudden deceleration. During an emergency braking maneuver, the driver needs as much hand control as possible to operate the brake, throttle, and clutch effectively. Pressure on the back means pressure on the arms means pressure on the hands. Conversely, pressure on the butt won’t desensitize the hands from the “light touch” required to control the motorcycle effectively. (Worst case, the driver will be “racked” by the tank — which might lead to temporary desensitizing of his/her nether regions. But that’s a small price to pay versus the higher-risck consequences of braking ineffectively.)

  • Jim

    This is a great article. Especially the notes on low speed fidgeting, its amazing how noticeable it is.

  • Justus

    Another reason for dudes to ride two up: To show non-riders how awesome riding a bike is! If it wasn’t for a few of my buddies taking me for rides, I probably wouldn’t be riding now.

    • Sean Smith

      I offer that all the time. Throw a friend in a spare suit and take them for a quick blast down the highway. They’ll be shopping for a bike the second they get home.

  • http://www.postpixel.com.au mugget

    HFL chick!!

    Good article, and good comments here as well.

    It’s really strange, but I’m another of these guys – been riding sportsbikes for about 4-5 years and only once have I taken a girl for a pillion ride and I went pretty slow since it was my first time properly riding with a pillion, not hers though. She was telling me to go faster. Haha!

    I have been teaching a couple of buddies to ride, maybe I’ll see if they want to pillion in the hills sometime. I reckon that would get them sorted and they’d finally go get their license and a bike in the garage real quick…

  • noone1569

    Articles like this should be put up in a section that will allow us to forward these to non-subscribers to read (and encourage to subscribe). These are incredibly useful.

    FWD’d to all the ladies I allow to ride with me . .

    • http://hellforleathermagazine.com Wes Siler

      The 12-hour preview time is designed to allow for that.

      • noone1569

        Yeah. I understand that, and I do love HLF, but I can’t always fwd that and convince people to read within 12 hours. Bastards should hurry up but hardly do!

      • aristurtle

        It doesn’t, though. I can’t post a link to HFL on my Facebook page because by the time my friends start commenting on it, everything will be gone but the first paragraph.

      • Dean

        I must say it would be really nice to have a certain category of posts labelled “gateway drug” that don’t have the time limit. Could be for posts, like this one, that might appeal to new or inexperienced riders.

        I generally never share HFL articles because of the time limit—despite occasionally wanting to, usually with friends that I’m trying to convince to take MSF course.

  • http://pinkyracer.com pinkyracer

    great article Ashlee! I’ll use these tips on my impending two-up ride with a certain IOM winner who’s promised to show me Malibu his way. ;-)

    • Sean Smith

      Mark Miller? Ashlee and I should race you guys.

      • http://pinkyracer.com pinkyracer

        in your dreams, squid. ;-P I’d hate to be in any way responsible for you two flying over the edge of Latigo trying to keep up.

        • Sean Smith

          Lol, I’d bet $20 bucks I lose you guys in 5 corners. A specially setup bike and lots of experience hauling ass with a passenger who acts more like a sidecar monkey than a hindrance add up to a pretty fast package ;)

          • http://twitter.com/metabomber Jesse

            Chase car and cameras. I’d love to see this.

          • http://mansgottado.tumblr.com/ gregorbean

            Seriously. Make this happen please.

  • vegetablecookie

    I have most of the gear suggested for my pillion. Where do I find a tutu?

  • http://www.firstgenerationmotors.blogspot.com Emmet

    excellent write up! I’ll use this when I take my first passenger out for a ride in a few weeks.

  • RiderCoach

    well written, very nice.

    i find contact signals work better than visual hand signals, as it lets nervous noobs still hold on and doesn’t distract the operator :

    double tap right thigh=pull over
    double tap left chest=you are scaring me
    rub stomach=i am hungry
    rub groin=mesohorny

  • http://themotolady.com MotoLady

    “Gentlemen, you know this is true for you too, but testosterone makes you think you have motorcycle skills in your DNA. You don’t.”

    This is so good.

  • Keith

    Great article! It’s something that gets lost in the training info and should be seen more often.
    A bad passenger can be a real handful.
    The most “interesting” passenger for me is a cameraman that sits backwards to shoot other bikes on the road.(back roads only…)
    Fortunately, he rides and understands the balancing act :)

  • Steven

    the big question is how you get the lady to want to get onto the back in the first place.

    • always_go_big

      Easy – you pick a lady who wants to get on the back in the first place ! ;-)

  • elisa loops

    What about the ladies that at at the front with hubby riding bitch? Lol I know I know… All the same safety measures apply, just making a point there are sum like us out there I’m at the front hubby at the back
    :-)

  • mercdem2

    This is cute. I was always of the mind that I didn’t want no body mama crying at me for scarring up they daughter, so caution when riding 2 up is the rule. But in truth, the best and safest thing is never to ride heavier than you or the bike can enjoy. See, I love a thick chick with big legs (GRAAOOW!) but I never ride with them. Around 120lbs and under so I still maintain a level of manuverability and performance. That’s MY prerequisite.

  • Feh!

    Well I’ve been enjoying this site for a few months now, but I read through the whole article thinking “typical male writer: assumes it’s just women (or “bitches”) who ride as passengers, with the studly man doing the real work in front. And the comments about not wearing a skirt?! Jeez.” Then I noticed the writer was a woman. Come on girl – as a new female rider shaking my head pretty regularly at the sexist crap I see everywhere in the bike world, this is a bit sad. My local bike club’s facebook page: every other post is a chick in a bikini. My local rider’s forum: ditto. Also liberally sprinkled with homophobic comments. (Guys: I expect you to sneer at my comment now, but since you’re men you don’t get to tell me how I as a woman should feel about this. So zip it. ;) )