How To Avoid Black Friday Madness – Motorcycle Edition

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While the rest of society holds its breath for the closest thing in real life to a zombie epidemic (a.k.a. Black Friday), let us take a moment to consider a few motorcycling alternatives to letting your greed get ahead of your needs on November 29th. Here’s how to avoid Black Friday madness through motorcycling.

1. Watch a movie that inspires you to ride.

2. Clean your bike. You’ve left it grimy all summer and fall now it’s time to bust out the suds.

My favorite detailing product is Optimum No Rinse Wash and Wax.

3. Do some basic maintenance. Check your chain, engine oil level, brake fluid reservoirs, and tire wear. Make sure all critical points on the bike are properly torqued down; that means the footpegs and support brackets, handlebar controls and handlebars, axle nuts, brake caliper bolts, triple-tree clamps, etc.

4. Build your own carburetor manometer and balance your carbs.

5. Organize your toolbox.

Have the rights tools for the job and know where they are.
Have the rights tools for the job and know where they are.

6. Clean and protect your leathers. I like Obenauf’s as a do-all product.

7. Clean your helmet liner and cheekpads.

8. Take stock of your gear and organize everything. List the stuff you don’t need anymore on Craigslist to get money for the stuff you actually do need. Maybe it’s time to sell it and get that Roadcrafter you’ve been wanting?

9. Plan your next adventure.

10. The most important thing you can do: Go for a ride. As the shopping horde storms the city, head for the hills and be glad your on the road instead of in the mall.


If you do decide to go shopping, you might want to consider donning your motorcycle gear on Black Friday because…

A. You could get trampled in a stampede:

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B. You could get pepper-sprayed:

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C. You could get shot (in which case, your gear probably won’t help):

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Be careful out there, or you might end up like this guy:

A Black Friday shopper gets eaten alive.



  • Rameses the 2nd

    If you must shop for the holidays, shop online. Better deals, easy to read product reviews and no chance of being shot in the face. All this while you are eating your 4500 calories dinner and streaming your favorite movie from Netflix. :)

  • DavidyArica Freire

    Well said sir

  • Jack Meoph

    Cyber Monday!!!! Amazon has everything and is already price matching, and if you don’t have Prime shipping, get it. It’s $80 a year, and gives you free shipping PLUS Amazon streaming. I rarely walk into a brick and mortar store anymore.

    Here’s a deal:

    MC Superstore has Motostance Battery Charger on sale for $10 + free shipping.

    via ebay:

    • Rameses the 2nd

      Thanks for sharing the link. I needed one.

  • runnermatt

    I do my best to not leave the house on black Friday.

  • Pete Ratzlaff

    I washed the bike and changed the tires today. What else is there to do Friday except shop?

    Oh yeah, work.

  • eddi

    I’m SOL this year. A minor disaster requires fixing ASAP and Friday is payday. Pray for me!

  • Michael Howard

    Videos like these make me glad I’m not part of the human race. Oh, wait ‒ damn.

  • JT

    Consumption for the sake of maintaining an economy is absurdity at its height.