Lead photo by Kevin Cox
Wednesday’s article, 10 Reasons Why You Shouldn’t Date a Motorcyclist caused quite a reaction, not just because of the suppository laxatives and not least from readers who disagreed. So, we thought we’d examine the topic from a different perspective. Would you believe we found an actual woman who rides motorcycles to write this one? — Ed.
I got a chuckle from last week’s “Ten Reasons Why You Shouldn’t Date a Motorcyclist”. But something in the satire made me feel…I don’t know…guilty for laughing. I mean, if you re-read the thing (and I think you should), you’ll see this is clearly a cry for help. First of all, the author uses the word “motorcyclist” to exclusively define the heterosexual male rider, so right there, you know he’s either ancient or been hiding under a rock. Either way, you shouldn’t laugh at these people. Secondly, the poor guy must be so beat down by the unrealistic expectations of non-riding females, he’s actually trying to talk them out of dating him (and you, too, if you’re a heterosexual male who rides a motorcycle). That’s tragic. Then, he’s outing his rare disorder of the nasal mucosa, which apparently, a lot of heterosexual males who ride motorcycles suffer from. I don’t really know what he’s talking about, being a girl and all; we don’t get “boogers.” Anyway, the article got me thinking. Maybe you motorcyclists (heterosexual males who ride motorcycles) are looking for love in all the wrong places. Maybe what you should do is find yourself a woman who rides a motorcycle. Consider some less-obvious reasons why hanging out with someone who digs what you dig might be the way to go.
10 Reasons To Date a Woman Who Rides:
1. We Travel Light
It is a scientific fact that all a girl really needs for any given vacation fits easily into a tank-bag: toothbrush, bikini, a little black dress, heels, sunscreen, lip-gloss, mascara, and a tire pressure gauge. Girls who ride motorcycles know this. No bulky bags crammed with “essentials” like clean underwear and shampoo that you’re expected to shlep around for her. Chances are, we’ve got a cool tank bag that doubles as a stylish purse anyway.
2. We’re a Cheap Date
Forget $15 martinis and $40 sea bass; we’re good with a Frog Dog and a beer at the races. Of course, our dream-date is a long ride on a twisty road with lunch someplace where they bake their own bread and the hostess calls the guy making sandwiches “dad.” Bonus: we show up with our tanks already full.
Photo by Jason Sibre
3. We Get You
Feeling like a rock-star for taking your scarlet-faired torque-monster of an Italian race bike down the “scenic route” on your GPS that turned out to be sixteen miles of winding, mostly-dry, dirt logging trails and moss-slimed riverbeds? We get that. You are a rock-star. Pull off a stunt like that and we’ll probably throw ourselves at you.
4. We’re Tough
Another scientific fact: if you ride a motorcycle, at some point, you’re going to fall down and go boom. Been there, done that, and we’re not about to boo-hoo when (not if) it happens again. It takes a lot to make women riders cry. As in, “sorry ma’am, that repair bill is going to cost you a lot”.
Photo by brutaleforever
5. Crazy Ex-girlfriends Are Afraid of Us
Doesn’t matter what we ride (not like she’d know the difference, anyway), your nut-job ex sees you holding hands with some girl who’s holding a helmet in the other, and suddenly, camping out on your porch with a batch of your favorite cookies on what would have been the two-year anniversary of your first date doesn’t seem like such a good idea. You could be escorting the new gal to her pearl-pink Vespa, but all’s that psycho sees is “BIKER-CHICK”. In the twisted hierarchy of feminine badasses, we’re sort of up there. Right under female Navy Seals and Heidi Klum.
Photo by Michelle Sobina
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