Photo by path*doc
Chicks dig bikes. Bikers are cool. Seems like a match made in heaven, eh? Think again, Juliet – Romeo is surely not all he’s cracked up to be.
Beyond the hot bike, the cool clothes, and the devil-may-care attitude, your biker guy likely has a slew of things higher on his priority list than you. If you think you’ve met Mr. Right Biker, beware: here are a few things of which you might want to be wary.
1. We’re Probably Wearing Jeans
If you were hoping for a romantic, candlelit meal at a tres-fancee restaurant, forget it. While it’s feasible Chateau L’Xpensif has a dinner jacket loaner for your beau, there’s no way he’s getting into the dining room wearing Deth Killers. Instead, expect to end up getting to know each other better over a mess o’ribs at Steak N’ Steer.
2. We’re Taking Your Car
Unless you’re willing to have a major hair-do altering experience, you should expect to drive. Check that: You should expect to hand over the keys to your car. No self-respecting motorcyclist would be caught dead riding shotgun, and any biker worth his salt isn’t going to show up in a car anyhow. However, if you’re willing to ride pillion, read on.
Photo by Chris Hall
3. We’re Never Around
Ah, a beautiful Saturday morning. How about a stroll in the park, or brunch at that hip new cafe? Sure, if your friends are around. Look, unless there’s a blizzard going on, motorcyclists are going to spend their free time riding motorcycles. And even if there is a blizzard, chances are your biker buddy is in the garage, cursing over a pile of bolts and cotter pins and wondering: how in God’s name are there are parts left over?
Photo by Jake Sutton
4. If We Are Around, We’re Late
In the market for a gentleman? Someone looking to impress you with punctuality, chivalry, and savoir-faire? Try eHarmony.com. A motorcyclist will show up late, with grease under his nails, full of apologies and clutching a bouquet of pre-wrapped, doghouse roses that he picked up at the market on the way over. Here’s a handy tip: Don’t make reservations.
Photo by The Baza
5. We Don’t Have (Much) Money
Oh sure, there’s enough in the kitty for a burger and a beer, or maybe even to catch a flick. Hell, we might even be able to make rent this month, baby! But bills? Who’s got money for stinking bills? Let me be perfectly clear: Any hot single guy under 40 with a beautiful bike is likely to be as destitute as they come. The only riders willing and able to be sugar daddies are your father’s golfing buddies.
Photo by Mark Thomas