6. Don’t Expect to Talk About Anything But Bikes
“Honey, I’m sure you had a rough day at the office. But lemme tell you about the move this Jackwagon on the 405 tried to pull on my way over here!” If you were hoping to discuss Hunger Games or gossip about Kim and Kanye, consider yourself out of luck. Listen, bikers are a sympathetic bunch – as long as your plight involves motorcycles or motorcycling. Otherwise, we’re likely to be nodding and sighing and not paying much attention at all.
7. Not All Scars Are Sexy
Ever seen a butt-scar? ‘Nuff said.
Photo by Romany WG
8. Anal Suppository Laxatives
Required after heavy painkillers, and impossible to insert yourself if arms (or shoulders, or ribs, or collarbones, or … ) are broken. This item, submitted by our hipster-in-chief, actually never occurred to me. I mean, stuff like this is why I got married.
Photo by Steven Higgins
Okay, the science behind biker boogers is far too intricate for an article such as this (a website such as RideApart). So don’t expect any insight here. I’m simply stating what anyone who rides knows, and that is this: motorcycling builds boogers. It creates them, it molds them, and it manufactures them to excess, until they need to be excavated. If you can’t deal, date a banker.
Photo by Brittanie Shey
10. We All Think We’re Cool. Only Some Of Us Are
Just because your beau has a motorcycle does not mean he’s a catch. Ever been to Sturgis?!? Seriously, your vetting process should involve far more than your potential suitor’s mode of transpo. If you can’t deal with all the above caveats, then perhaps you should consider looking for Mr. Right at the mall. If you can, please call Wes Siler at: (213) 555-9999.
Tell us, why your bike does or does not make you dateable.