I know you are sweet on me, and you really want me to spend time with you, but your flowers and pink stuff and naked babies aren’t going to get you to first base, OK? A model holding a naked baby? What were you thinking?

2013 EICMA Poster

I know, pink really is my favorite color, but that’s for lipstick, not motorcycle gear.  Notice my lipstick isn’t the same color as my coat. Or my car. Jammies and iPhones, yes; motorcycle stuff, no.

And yes, there are times when I do like flowers, but not on my motorcycle tank. Or fairings. Or track suit. Nothing says, “Pretty fast for a girl” like flowers, and nothing says, “I don’t identify with traditional gender roles” like being a girl who really rides a motorcycle. Please, 86 the botanicals, OK?

Speaking of fast women at the track, why aren’t you making a bigger deal out of women racers? They are a big deal! Besides bringing serious female competition to a typically all-male grid – we love that. Ask any NASCAR fan...better yet, Google 'Danica Effect'. Then ask yourself if more T&A at the track is really the best way to boost attendance. The only thing separating the Danica Effect from the Elena Effect is two wheels and a league that embraces new market research.

Also, why do you insist on selling-down to me? What makes you think I want anything to do with “a great bike for the ladies.” You know what's a great bike for the ladies? The one you rode in on.  And that dirt bike over there, and that dual sport, that cruiser, and that super-fast, super-hot, superbike in the corner over there.

What I'm trying to tell you is, that the female riding population wants nothing more than, well, more. More gear, more options, more opportunities for inclusion in a sport we find every bit as exciting and addictive as you do. And I guess by 'more', what I really mean is 'the same'. If I spend the same as the average male rider, you double your profits and I double my fun. Everyone goes home happy.

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