Brundy Does Costa Rica - Part Two

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Categories: HFL, Travel

By 9am, after a nice breakfast of volcano-shaped gallo pinto (traditional rice and beans dish native to Nicaragua and Costa Rica) at a local soda, we were on the road with the intention of circling counter clockwise around the north side of Lake Arenal, then heading west on the Interamericana, up into the mountainous Diria National Park and down to the Pacific Coast on the Nicoya Peninsula.

The Full Adventure Brundy Does Costa Rica: Part One | Part Two | Part Three

The dark clouds overhead kept us on our toes and were a constant reminder that we were perpetually just minutes away from the skies opening up on us. Of course they wouldn’t have the courtesy of doing so when we were on nice paved roads around the lake; they’re far crueler than that.

Lake Arenal’s northern side is a Harley rider’s dream-come-true. With excellent pavement winding endlessly right up to the edge of the lake then quickly back up into the trees, it’s a real gem of a ride, if not a bit annoying due to a local proprietor’s tireless hand-painted signs that appear every 100 yards advertising “the world’s best bloody mary” and “the best fish tacos on the planet”. I’m no food critic, but my guess would be that Toad Hall, an American-run establishment up in the hills north of Lake Arenal, probably doesn’t warrant the accolades they’ve impressed upon themselves.

Once off the lake road, we jammed towards the Pacific coast, passing through the transit town of Las Cañas for lunch, and up into the hills skirting the north side of Diria National Park. The road gained an obscene amount of elevation in no time as we swung back and forth around endless hairpin switchbacks getting higher and higher into the clouds that we’d been trying to outrun all day. As Murphy’s Law would suggest, as soon as we got into more technical, rocky dirt roads, the skies finally let go of the water they’d been holding out on us. We stopped under a couple thick trees to put our $20 Coleman rain suits on and continued on at a painfully slow pace, artfully dodging all of the potholes whose depth were camouflaged with water. Even in this drier season, when it rains in Costa Rica, it doesn’t just rain, it rains. Picking our way along a ridge between Santa Cruz and the coast along the edge of the national park, the rain finally subsided as we started our late descent onto the Pacific side of the Nicoya Peninsula.

I had planned to stay in a town called Osotional which, relative to the size of font of other towns printed on the map, should have been a great spot to stop and grab a hotel for the evening. Unfortunately, as we arrived in town we quickly realized the mapmaker used the wrong font size, as there was nothing in the town for us – so we had to keep heading south into the peninsula as dusk turned into night.

Following the sporadic signs, we arrived in a town called Playa Guiones. Mike and I are both happily married, but my suggestion to any single guys out there is to get on the next plane to Playa Guiones. Unlike most of the towns along the coast that are frequented by hippies cruising around barefoot, and average looking girls accompanied by surfer dudes with ironic tattoos, Playa Guiones is a yoga retreat town and literally the majority of the people that we saw were mid-to-late twenties, far-above-average girls either hanging by themselves or with a couple other similarly attractive girls. We got a hotel and enjoyed some of the best sushi that we’ve ever eaten, went to bed and scurried out of there in the morning. I seriously suggest that all of you go visit and learn the downward dog.

[Day 2 Stats // 178 miles, 64.8 mph max. speed, 6h 40m moving time, 316.54 miles total]

Playa Guiones, for all of its attributes, lacks any banks or gas stations. Since we putted into town on fumes, we needed to fill up and the next town of any size, Samara. In my original plan, we were going to stay in Samara for a night as it sounded like it had a good vibe from the reading I had done. The 20 minutes we spent there could not have ended quickly enough. Samara embodied everything I knew I wouldn’t like about Costa Rica. From its kitschy trinket shops, to the cleverly named hostels, to the uber-douche we saw that was super buff, with long hair, an outback-style hat, no shirt, a tribal tattoo spanning the full side of his body, walking a pitbull and pounding an energy drink. The juxtaposition of this guy’s mere existence against the serious amounts of natural beauty to be had all over the peninsula left us bewildered, bummed out, and very, very eager to move on.

The Nicoya Peninsula astounds with a seriously diverse set of microclimates. The ocean was never far enough away that we couldn’t smell it, but the scenery and the landscape ranged from looking like the little pueblos (tiny towns) in Baja to more Jurassic Park-esque jungles within a few miles from each other. We really enjoyed the variety and the wildness of the areas on the Nicoya Peninsula. The whole stretch of road from Osotional, where we hit the coast coming out of the mountains, down to the southern tip at Mal Pais (arguably the best name for a town ever, literally “Bad Country”) was a rough, unmaintained, rocky dirt road – and it was awesome. We had read about a bunch of water crossings on this road, but our timing was such that many of them were little more than wet dirt strewn across the road. I can definitely see this area swelling up like crazy and more or less trapping residents between rivers in the rainy season.

We hit Mal Pais and got out the Lonely Planet guide to see what it was all about. It turns out some gnarly celebrities were married there recently, and the unbelievably high number of surf shops per capita sort of deterred us from having any interest in sticking around. A route directly east across the peninsula and north along the Gulf of Nicoya would bring us to a reportedly much more laid back town called Montezuma. The road out of Mal Pais wasn’t on the map nor in the guidebook, but it did appear as a faint line on Google Earth, so we pointed the bikes east and headed into the forest on the southern tip of this wild region. Instead of heading all the way to the east side of the peninsula though, we turned north about half way across and rode through some spectacular vistas on mountains with great views of both coasts and along some remarkable fincas (estate, or large farm). This brought us into the backside of Montezuma which was a very charming little beach side town, full of what I would call travelers rather than surfers and hippies like we found in Mal Pais; definitely much more our vibe. We shacked up at a hotel which doubled, tripled, and quadrupled as a school for language, surfing, and fire dancing, respectively. If there’s one thing Costa Ricans are known for, it’s definitely fire dancing – similar to native Thais all having their hair braided really tightly in weird patterns – oh, wait…

[Day 3 Stats // 90.6 miles, 53.6 mph max. speed, 3h 52m moving time, 407.2 miles total]

Our fourth day would take us across the Gulf of Nicoya aboard the famed Tambor II ferry back to the mainland. With an early breakfast, we set out north along the weaving coastal road comprised of nice pavement and myriad twisties. As we approached a decent sized group of policia at a checkpoint, my heart began to race, recalling all of the stories I’d heard from travelers of being shaken down as well as Thorsten’s warnings about simple traffic tickets costing upwards of $300 US!

I called on my research and prepared myself to act as stereotypically American as possible, acting as though I don’t understand the simplest of Spanish, and pulled up to the hombre in charge. “Hello! How are you?!” I yelled in my best southern drawl. “Hola. Documentos, por favor” he requested. I thought I was headed down the right path; he would get frustrated with my obvious idiocy and just send me on my way. “I’m terribly sorry, sir, I only speak English! How’s it going, though? Are you having a good day?” Peppering him with speedy English, hoping to confuse him. “Yes, I’m having a very nice day, may I see you passport please, sir?” Damnit! Like a huge part of the population in Costa Rica, he speaks brilliant English, fortunately he just wanted to see that we actually had our passports, and wished us a safe journey.

Back on the mainland we got out of the armpit of a port town, Puntarenas, as quickly as possible and turned due south on the highway, headed for Quepos, the jumping off point for Manuel Antonio National Park. As the miles racked up and we continued south, my mind started to drift, thinking about what we’d already had the fortune to see and how excited I was to see the rest. I was searching the crevices of my under-performing memory for whether there was anything of interest between the ferry and Quepos. And like an apparition, we approached a bridge with tour buses on both sides, touts at each end trying to sell coconuts, and a hundred plus tourists with their cameras out taking pictures of the river below. Yes folks, this is where the crocodiles hang out. I remembered reading about this spot and when we rode onto the bridge and looked over, it looked just like the photos, around 20-30 pretty massive brown crocodiles lazing around in the mud, soaking in the rays, and gladly accepting tips for their posing of pictures. We took their photo and bid them adieu.

This brought us to a hard east turn off the highway and up into the mountains just north of Tarcoles. We had planned to stay in Tarcoles this night but ended up getting there much earlier than anticipated, the ensuing loop up into the mountains and away from most civilization seemed like the only rational option. Here I subscribed to, and quite enjoyed, the art of riding to a town and asking which road out of town would take us to the next town on the map in the direction we wanted to go. Local knowledge is always hit and miss, one person will tell you a road goes through and is perfectly fine, the next person will tell you that it’s impassable and you have to backtrack 50 miles to get around to where you’re headed. I typically find someone who agrees with what I’m looking for and take their word for it.

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