Scooter Trash - Five Killer Halloween Biker Movies
Death Rides Again cover illustration by Ryan Quickfall
It's almost Halloween! That means it's time to get spoopy and roll out some of our favorite terrible, trashy, scary, gory biker horror movies. So grab your favorite beverage, a big bag of popcorn, and let the fun begin!
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1. I Bought a Vampire Motorcycle
Released in 1990, this British gorefest features a demon-possessed Norton Commando, roughly 900,000,000 gallons of fake blood, hilariously bad acting, some really great bikes and bike stunts, and C-3P0. To whet your whistle, check out the trailer below and the review I did for it a back in August. If you want the full experience – and trust me, you totally want the full experience – you can pick up I Bought a Vampire Motorcycle on DVD from Amazon for around ten bucks. It's worth every penny.
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2. Werewolves on Wheels
It's werewolves! On wheels! What's not to love? From the golden age of early-70s moto-exploitation films, Werewolves on Wheels follows the exploits of a biker gang called the Devils Advocates who are totally not the Hell's Angels or the Outlaws. It's a pretty straight forward horror premise – the Advocates cross some Satanists, the Satanists curse them with lycantrhopy, and hilarity ensues. It has some pretty sweet era-appropriate choppers, some great stunts, and a lot of gratuitous 70s-style nudity. Bryan reviewed this film back in May of 2016 which you should totally read. Check out the trailer below, and if you like what you see the whole thing is streaming on YouTube here.
Also known as The Death Wheelers for some reason, Psychomania came out in 1973 and is a product of the same fog-shrouded British filmmaking tradition that gave us Hammer Films, Christopher Lee, Peter Cushing, and The Wicker Man. This one is, without a doubt, the most boring and least scary horror movie I've ever seen, but despite those flaws it's still remarkably enjoyable. The plot centers around Tom, the leader of a biker gang called the Living Dead. The child of a powerful witch, Tom discovers the key to immortality and drags his enthusiastically with him into an unliving afterlife. It features a pretty fantastic score, great bikes and riding stunts, and some surprisingly good acting from the leads. Check out my Psychomania review here, and make sure to watch the trailer to really get a feel for it.
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4. Blood Ties
Blood Ties, man. Whew. This 1991 made for television film, and I use the term "film" very loosely, follows the exploits of a "Carpathian American" biker gang who are also vampires. Content to ride their bikes around South Beach and feast on the blood of the living, their world is turned upside down by a group of Klan-like vampire hunters called the Southern Coalition Against Vampirism (S.C.A.V.). Blood Ties is painfully 80s, which is not a bad thing, and is essentially The Lost Boys with motorbikes. Check out Bryan's review here, and if you're feeling nostalgic, the entire movie is streaming on YouTube right now.
Honorable Mention - Everything on This List
Last Halloween, Bryan whipped up a list of 10 Creepy Biker Horror Movies for Halloween. It features a couple of the movies I talked about here, plus a number of real classics like These are the Damned and Race With the Devil. It's a pretty good list, and runs the gamut from real gems to truly awful stinkers. What about you guys and ghouls? Do you have a favorite biker horror movie that we missed here and totally need to watch? Let us know! Happy Halloween!